Then came Psalm 26

Sometimes on this blog I have shared my Christian faith and most of the time I have not. My posts are mainly just the stories and hindsight aha moments that I have after something in life has happened. Yesterday morning I woke up with my mind and heart in the thick of things and stuck. Stuck with not knowing what was going to happen to Cade and knowing that the morning would begin with me going to a real job and having to maneuver all the medical happenings over the phone.

The four people who occupy my office space seldom say much but they do hear all of my conversations with the four doctors' offices, two hospitals, and of course the two insurance companies I deal with. They probably know more than they ever wanted to know about uveitis and psoriasis and yet they are there in the same space living and doing the work we do. God is there too listening and working, working out the things that I can't forecast and see down the road and honestly even the things I can't see in the present. That is what I mean by being stuck. Stuck in the circumstance that the situation sucks, wanting to trust God but being disappointed at each turn in the road...

...and there it is in Psalm 26, maybe I noticed it because the word walk was used. I have been walking a lot lately. I can no longer drive because of the herniated disc in my back and the aching sciatica down my leg. Sitting hurts so I stand at my desk with my computer monitors stacked on paper boxes and when I have a meeting at another building on my company's campus I walk. A quarter mile or so I walk along worn out roads, beneath canopies of sycamore trees and in the solitude of it all I noticed for the first time in a long while that I am really in God's house. He is there with me all the time, when things are going well and when they are not. The reality is that I occupy God's space all the time. It really is less about me and more about Him and in my cry, right along with the writer of Psalm 25 and the countless others that turn there when they are in need I discover that I am made new. Made new to notice that I am in God's house, in His presence and He is God and I am not.